New Diagnosis

A NEW DIAGNOSIS OF BREAST CANCER

Hearing the words “You have breast cancer" usually comes as a shock.

Cancer has varying meanings to different people and the way you respond to your diagnosis will be as unique as you are. It will reflect your personality, your past experiences with and memories about cancer or other health issues, the way you manage stressful situations and other things happening in your life at the moment. Your response may be quite different than the response of someone else who has had breast cancer.

During the first few weeks after a diagnosis, it is not unusual to have many different feelings. Anger, fear, anxiety or sadness may be among them. Your feelings may change from day to day, or even hour to hour, as you start to cope with the news. It may be helpful to concentrate just on getting through the next day or even the next hour. Try not to judge yourself. Almost everyone finds the first few weeks after diagnosis to be extremely difficult emotionally. Allow yourself to experience your feelings. Things will improve over time as you gather information.

10 Common Feelings and Fears at Diagnosis

Am I going to die?

Why me? What did I do to get breast cancer?

Could I have prevented it?

Will I lose my breast?

Will I lose my hair?

Are my children at risk of getting cancer?

Will I feel pain?

How will I tell my family, friends, boss?

Who will take care of my family if I am sick?

Will I still be able to work?

Telling Family and Friends

Sharing news of a breast cancer diagnosis with family and friends is never easy. But the people who know you and love you will want to be there for you. By telling them about your diagnosis, you are allowing them to help you and give you support.

It is your decision to share the news with others, and you can share it when and how you choose. You do not have to share the news immediately or with everyone you know. When you begin to tell others, they may ask more questions than you want to answer. Remember, you are in control of how much information you share. Do what makes the most sense for you.

Just as you have your unique way of dealing with the news, so will your family and friends. Sometimes people do not respond the way you expect. Sometimes they just don’t know what to say. Remember that these responses have to do with their own fears and worries and not with how they feel about you.

During this time, it is very important for you to focus on your own needs. Try not to rely on people who cannot support you. If you feel that those closest to you cannot help, consider calling on other family members or friends.

Telling Young People and Children

If you have a young person close to you - a child, grandchild, or niece or nephew - it is strongly encouraged that you share the news.

Children sometimes feel anxious when they sense adults are hiding something. They may have questions if they notice changes in the way you look or behave. Talk with children in a way that makes sense for their age and emotional development. Be clear and reassuring.

With small children, you do not need to be very specific. You can say, “Mommy is sick, but I am taking medicine to make me better. The medicine may make me tired or make me lose my hair, but I am still the same mommy.” Using real words like “cancer” and “chemotherapy” helps children understand that they won’t lose their hair or have other side effects the next time they get sick. Consider using one of the many picture books available to help the young people in your life understand cancer.

Useful Resources

Talking to Kids About Cancer by Cancer Council

Parenting through Cancer by CanTeen

Finding Trustworthy Information

Our website has up to date information on breast cancer.

As you as you feel ready, you may wish to start with these pages